


The Most Embarrassing Conversation

by hmweasley



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Embarrassed Albus Severus Potter, Gen, The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26231152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hmweasley/pseuds/hmweasley
Summary: Albus is annoyed when he gets roped into helping James move into his new flat, but his discovery of a box of condoms while unpacking leads to more embarrassment than he was prepared for.(Or, James gives Albus "the talk.")
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter & James Sirius Potter
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23
Collections: Banned Together Bingo 2020





	The Most Embarrassing Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts:  
> Hogwarts - Write about someone moving into a new home.  
> Banned Together Bingo - Sex Ed

Albus scowled down at the box as he slit it open with a spell. Moving James into his new flat was meant to be a family effort, but then Lily had gotten sick enough to warrant a trip to St Mungo’s, leaving James and Albus to do most of the work themselves. The promise of a new Wizard’s Chess set was the only thing keeping Albus going with the tedious work.

At least they weren’t Muggles, he supposed. James had Apparated the boxes over, and Albus’ job was just unboxing everything, a task that would have been easier if James was capable of organization. Instead, he’d thrown things into boxes at a whim and expected them to sort it all out afterward.

The process was straightforward: Albus took an item out, glanced at it, and put it where he thought best. He didn’t bother to ask James where anything should go. James could search for what he needed later or cast an Accio if he really needed to. If he wanted something easier, he should have labelled rooms on the boxes at the very least.

Albus shoved a deck of Exploding Snap cards into James’ bedside table drawer and slid it shut a bit too forcefully. This wasn’t how he had planned to spend his summer vacation. He and Scorpius had made plans to spend the summer working on advanced charms at Malfoy Manor, where Draco was sure not to pry too much into what they were doing. Instead, Albus had to miss several days with his best friend helping his disorganized brother.

He reached into the box again and pulled out a small cardboard box. A quick glance at the front was all it took for Albus to let out a yelp and toss the box onto James’ bed while backing away frantically.

James stuck his head through the door at once.

“What is it?” he asked.

His hair stuck up in every direction, hinting that he wasn’t having any easier of a time unpacking than Albus was.

“What are those?” Albus snapped, pointing at the box as if it was at fault.

He knew what they were of course: condoms. He’d heard of them before, though he’d never seen them in person.

“Oh,” James said, a sheepish smile on his lips. “Sorry about that. Didn’t realize they were in that box when I gave it to you.”

He snatched the box off the bed and opened the same drawer Albus had put the Exploding Snap cards in. Dropping the condoms in with the cards, he quickly shut them away out of sight, yet Albus couldn’t stop himself from eyeing the closed drawer. They may have been hidden, but he knew they were there.

“Why do you have condoms?” he asked, unable to look James in the eye. “Aren’t there potions for that?”

He’d heard that there was before, though he lacked as much knowledge about the potions as he did the condoms. It was all rather abstract for him and not a subject he’d bothered to think about much.

James nodded and perched himself on the edge of the bed. When he patted the space beside him, Albus refused to budge, hovering near the end of the bed instead, away from the drawer.

“There are,” James said, carefully considering each word as he said it. “But they take a long time to brew. Sometimes, you just can’t manage it in time, and Potions was never my best subject besides. Condoms are cheaper than the store bought potions, and they’re just as effective. It’s kind of brilliant really, what the Muggles can manage. Just a piece of rubber? That’s wild.”

“Ew!” Albus turned to glare at the door, his arms crossed against his chest. “Forget I asked anything. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of about a natural process, Al—”

“Shitting is a natural process, James,” Albus said, spinning around to face him with a scowl. “That doesn’t mean I want to hear about you doing it.”

James held up both hands defensively, but he laughed as Albus turned away again.

“Look,” James said. “Has Dad had the talk with you at all? Because I know he only did with me when I pestered him about it, and I’m willing to bet that you haven’t.”

“I don’t think Dad can give me the talk,” Albus muttered, still staring at a spot on the wall where the paper was peeling.

“Nonsense!” James stood up and flopped a heavy arm across Albus’ shoulders. “Your sexuality only matters so much here, Al. And I mean, it does matter, but there’s a lot of information that’s applicable all the time. Not to mention, you or anyone else,” he pointed at himself, “could date a trans person. It’s good to know all of it.”

Albus hadn’t forgotten that James’ girlfriend, Felicia, was trans, but he’d never thought of it in such a context and would rather never having done so.

“James…”

James pulled him back in before he could get away.

“I don’t know what you’re expecting, Al, but I’m not about to go into personal details or anything. I’m just talking about the basics. You do know about the potions for STIs, right?”

Albus’ withering stare was enough to give James his answer.

“Al, Al, Al,” he chanted in a singsong voice. “Forget the boxes. I can do them myself. We have bigger priorities. I’ve been failing you as a big brother!”

Albus’ cheeks warmed as James led him back to the edge of the bed, but he still went, mentally preparing himself for the most embarrassing conversation of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [Tumblr](http://madetofly.tumblr.com) if you'd like!


End file.
